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Thursday, August 29, 2013

I Respected The "Horror" Movie, YOU'RE NEXT... But...

I have waited five days since seeing the "horror" movie YOU'RE NEXT in the theater. At first, I was positive that I would not go to the movies to see the film. But, when the reviewers lavished the movie with over-the-top positive praise... well, I decided I had to see what all the fuss was about!

Now... don't panic, people -- NO SPOILERS HERE!

But, I will say my piece about this movie. Now, first thing first --  THIS IS NOT A HORROR MOVIE! What is it? Let me think... it is an... exceptionally well made terror parody, without the the obviously humorous comedy that is intrinsic to parody.

You will not laugh... even though the filmmakers are skewering the "why are you walking straight toward the killer" troupes that make-up the way white people act in horror movies. Well, you might laugh, if you are a serious student of what the filmmakers are trying to cut with a knife.

To be sure, this is an excellent movie. Even though I knew the answers thirty minutes into the film, the show was compelling enough to keep me in my seat. But, this really is not my cup of horror tea.

For me, I need my supernatural horror. Or, I need my monster horror. Or, I need my science fiction horror. I need to be taken back to the impossible horror fear I had as a child when I believed there actually was a thing living under my bed. When it comes to humans killing humans purely for the sake of killing... well that is not horror to me.

Terror? Torture porn? Whatever it is called... I respect its right to exist, but that genre is not for me.

But YOU might REALLY LOVE this movie. There are several great twists and turns. And if you want the highest body count a movie can produce -- this is for you. And if you believe in GIRL POWER -- this is your movie.

I just needed -- something else to call it horror... for me.

No disrespect, YOU’RE NEXT... I did enjoy your technicality and your actors. I just needed... you know... HORROR!


Sunday, August 11, 2013

What Kind Of Horror Do I Like?

This is an opinion about the trailer of the new horror movie, You're Next!

These days, horror has taken three forms -- supernatural horror, the torture porn horror where humans terrorize, maim and murder other humans and the occasional bit of science fiction horror.

I'm old enough to have seen the original The Hills Have Eyes. There were other torture movies, but that one stuck in my mind... and I hated it back then and I hate it today. The Hostel and the Saw movies have done NOTHING for me, too. I'm just not into humans being psychopathic monsters to each other. If I want to see that stuff, I can turn on the evening news and watch that for free.

On the other hand, give me the implausible horror of Mama or The Conjuring any day. I live for the horror that takes me away from reality and allows my imagination to revert back to a frighten child afraid of the imaginary monsters in the dark. I love to read about it, I love to watch it and I love to write about it.

There HAS to be exceptions to the rules, though. Bates Motel is my exception! Also, Under The Dome is the perfect mix of the reality of humans acting badly and the implausibility of a science fiction invisible upside down fishbowl dome over a town conceit!

I had hopes about You're Next... until I saw the trailer. This capture below, showing one man dragging another man by his feet takes me right out of the horror. Again, I can watch footage of Middle Eastern conflicts, or America's Drone Strike aftermath footage, to see exaggerated footage of humans murdering humans -- on TV!

I'm not going to kill You're Next. I'm sure it will do big business. It just won't be from me! But, if this movie is your cup of tee... I hope you have a good time with this type of... :Horror!"